From Kristen Neff: When we're mainly filtering our experience through our ego, constantly trying to improve or maintain our high self-esteem, we're denying ourselves the thing we actually want most: to be accepted as we are, an integral part of something much greater than our small selves. Unbounded. Immeasurable. Free.
The way we practice in our work together is exploratory - engaged fully with an attitude of curiosity and compassion rather than with judgment or an attempt to change or fix. Experienced like this our practice becomes a pleasure not a "should", and if we are like we might sense who we really are under all our ideas of who we are and what we should be.
From Kristen Neff: When we're mainly filtering our experience through our ego, constantly trying to improve or maintain our high self-esteem, we're denying ourselves the thing we actually want most: to be accepted as we are, an integral part of something much greater than our small selves. Unbounded. Immeasurable. Free. Today's reading applies to compassion as well as self-compassion. A key aspect of both is unconditionality of care, even if responsibilities need to be taken, clear corrective responses to a behaviour (individual or societal) are required, or boundaries need to be set. How can we bring deep compassion and acceptance of ourselves as human and fallible, even as we work to help ourselves be the most skillful we can, and our societies the most just and equitable we can?
From Kristen Neff: Compassion is not only relevant to those who are blameless victims, but also to those whose suffering stems from failures, personal weakness, or bad decisions. You know, the kind you and I make every day. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, life brings unease, struggle, discomfort, and distress. Our lineages tell us that everything in awareness/consciousness comes and goes, but when we're in the middle of the experience, this can be hard to remember. One of the challenges in meeting these difficult and uncomfortable experiences is that instead of remaining in mindful awareness of the actual experience, our meaning-making brain begins to resist, exaggerate, or in some other way story tell about our experience rather than breathing and being with it so it can move through. We practice this, not by creating new pain in how we're practicing, but by being with how we actually are when we arrive on our mats, the discomforts we notice as we settle in, or the discomforts or painful emotions that come to our awareness as we engage with the asanas.
From Kristen Neff: Painful feelings are, by their very nature, temporary. They will weaken over time as long as we don't prolong or amplify them through resistance or avoidance [or exaggeration]. The only way to eventually free ourselves from debilitating pain, therefore, is to be with it as it is. The only way out is through. In the Yoga Sutra, Patanjali describes Yoga as that which occurs when the observer is no longer distracted by the whirlpools in the mind, and can see itself and all things clearly, as though in a calm, clear pool. This clarity requires a way of witnessing that is open, aware and compassionate. In that vein, we continue exploring self-compassion, and readings from researcher and author Kristen Neff:
"Mindfulness brings us back to the present moment and provides the type of balanced awareness that forms the foundation of self-compassion. Like a clear, still pool without ripples, mindfulness perfectly mirrors what's occurring without distortion. Rather than becoming lost in our own personal soap opera, mindfulness allows us to view our situation with greater perspective and helps ensure we don't suffer unnecessarily." |
AuthorMisha Butot RCSW, ERYT 500 is a longtime clinical social worker and senior yoga teacher living in Victoria, BC Archives
April 2024
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